Jared and I joke every year about the Lexus commercials and the big red bows you see on top of their cars. But, it is their slogan that has me thinking this year: "A December to remember."December evokes many memories for me. For some reason it is the month with tragic memories in our child bearing existance. I remember the year 1999 when we were in the midst of infertility treatments and finally got pregnant … only to lose the baby 8 weeks later and a few weeks prior to Christmas. I remember the year 2005 when I was pregnant and doubled over in pain sure that I would miscarry again. Well, I was only partially right. I was pregnant with what was thought to be twins and was losing one to miscarriage while still being pregnant with the other. December was the beginning of several long months of bleeding that eventually made my water break early and our sweet Robert was born too early to survive at only 24 1/2 weeks old. I have a necklace that I have worn everyday since that reminds me of Robert. This December, without my knowing it, the clasp on my necklace broke and I have lost my pendant. Truthfully, it has been a bit devastating for me. Why December?
I have thought this month about these experiences and what they have taught me. Then, I remember it is not about me and my babies … it is about THE baby. It is about the baby that came down to earth to live and die for all of us. It is about remembering all that this baby has done for us so that I can see my baby again. It is a month to remember both the good and the bad. Perhaps the marketing department at Lexus is not that far off. December is definitely a month to remember.
8 comments:
Mary, what a wonderful blog post-thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. And I'm really feeling badly about your pendant-it's a beauty. With all of my heart I hope that Decembers from now on will be a bit brighter!! All our love!
Mary,
You a gifted writer and need to write more on the blog! Your perspective on the events in your life and the way you share them are inspiring. I am so glad that you are such a dear friend. Love you and miss you lots!
So touching and powerful. There is a whole essay in there. THAT'S the kind of spiritual Christmas talk I'd like to hear. I'm "seriously so blessed" to call you friend.
So beautiful and touching. Echo all the other comments. Thanks for letting me call you my friend.
I agree. You should write here more often. This post is so touching. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
My fourth was born in December, and it is so sweet to think about babies at Christmastime.
The Holiday is bitter sweet for many people for many reasons; few as tender as yours. Few, in the world, arrive at the insight that The Child is the reason - The Child being obscured by so many othre painful things that we overlook the balm. Thank you for sharing, Mary.
All our love as well
Thanks for your insight and thoughts. We are so excited for you and pray that all goes well.
I only went through one miscarriage and thought the world was crumbling around me. I can't imagine all of the turmoil you've suffered and have kept so positive and still turn your thoughts toward your blessings.
We love you and can't wait till May to find out if it's a boy or girl. You're keeping us in s-u-s-p-e-n-c-e:) I hope you find your sweet pendant....
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